What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Randomize
