ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
