I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
