have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
