so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
