come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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