im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
