dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
