even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
