I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she told me i tasted like america
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
