I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
