Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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