Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
