but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
