Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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