Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
