if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
