Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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