Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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