it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
