Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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