I just made out with a guy for $7.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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