I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
