: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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