If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
