Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
