DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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