I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
