She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
