He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
