Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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