lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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