I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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