god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there's paper in my vomit.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
