He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
