Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
