well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
