you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
