At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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