Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
