i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
