we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
