he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He did a backflip because drugs
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