i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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