Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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