You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
