the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
