i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
