I think scott just propositioned me for sex
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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