hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
