I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
