I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize