So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
