All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
