You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
