I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
