CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
