She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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