Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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