i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
