I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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