guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
