Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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