He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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