I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
